May 2013
I’m seeing my old partner in crime Kyle in 2 months. I haven’t seen him in 2 years. I’m so scared. The past 2 days a few of my exes have been saying they ‘miss me’ and we should ‘hang out’. We all know what they want. So this whole week ive been feeling pretty worthless. I’m just really scared that Kyle is going to be the same. I hope not. Kyle was...
fake-mermaid:
i wonder what it’s like to be so good looking that people get nervous talking to you
Just a few features of my anxiety
Me: *gets on bus* omg everyone is watching me and judging me and they're going to laugh when the bus starts and im not sitting down, omg dont put your ticket in the wrong way or everyone will judge you and laugh at you.
Me: *goes to pay for shopping* omg what if I dont have enough money? *counts money out 20 times* what if I look stupid, or say the wrong thing? am I standing in the right spot even? What if someone else wants to get past and im in the way, omg.
Me: *says hey to someone online* omg, they arent replying, holy shit why am I so annoying? what if they tell their friends how annoying and lame I am? Why am I like this, holy shit.
Me: *meets someone new* What if they dont like me and dont want me to be around, I shouldnt have met them, im going to be a burden, they're probably critisizing me right now, why am I the way I am?
thecouscousqueen:
grrrlfever:
Cosmo sex tip #394: Once your man reaches orgasm, awkwardly embrace him and whisper “well done Draco.”
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD I SWEAR
oh yeah went by the new tattoo shop near me. HOTTEST ARTIST EVER. luckily i kept my jaw from dropping. i want though. very much. and i was reminded i need new body mods.
-annoying:
i wanna play twister with someone really hot
oops i fell & touched your whole body
i should invite my new tattoo artist for twister…
howardwienerman:
i literally cant follow any atheism blogs because every single one I’ve seen has this ugly supremest attitude
what exactly makes you feel superior just for not believing in anything idgi
go do something productive like oh i dunno not ridiculing people just for believing in what they want?
Things you do not have to feel guilty about
becky-fitness:
Saying no sometimes
Wanting to be alone sometimes
Saying no to sex
Saying yes to sex
Not being sure about your life career
Deciding to study instead of going out
Getting rid of the toxic people in your life
Ending a relationship that is hurting you
Not liking the things everyone else likes
clubbedsoda:
“you’re denying it so it must be true!” NO IM DENYING IT BECAUSE ITS FALSE MOTHERFUCKER
Tumblr app: I'm done loading
Me: but what about all these blank pictures and gifs
Tumblr app: did I fucking stutter
thedramaticsneeze:
hoshigumayuugi:
i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early
YOU PUT THIS IN WORDS
deucebowl:
she reaches down seductively. I guide her hand to my zipper. she unzips my fanny pack by mistake. raviolis spill out everywhere
a detailed list of people who have a crush on me:
sextingllamas:
is it just me or is talking to your hairdresser the most uncomfortable thing in the world
I’m a hairdresser, I love it when guests talk to me. Just don’t be stupid
NSFW ASKS
1: When did you lose your virginity?
2: Rough sex or soft sex?
3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?
4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?
5: Favourite sex position?
6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?
7: Have you ever had any one night stands?
8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?
9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?
10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?
11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?
12: How often do you have sex?
13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?
14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?
15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?
16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?
17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?
18: Are you into dressing up for sex?
19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?
20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?
21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?
22: Do you/would you use sex toys?
23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?
24: Would you have sex with your best friend?
25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)
26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?
27: Early morning sex or late night sex?
28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?
29: Favourite body part on the same sex?
30: Do you watch porn?
violentblowjobs:
i wear all black bc i’m mourning the loss of my childhood
rufflebutts:
shoutout to all the other ex-gifted & talented/honor student/straight a/senior editor/star student/99th percentile/once-creative burn-outs who have, since high school, realized they are truly miniscule fish in a giant, endless ocean, criticized themselves to the point of creative paralysis, and participated in so much self-sabotage they no longer see the point of doing anything...
no one ever likes me as much as i like them and that’s it
heartcramp:
Look, if you nicely tell me that swearing makes you uncomfortable and you politely ask me not to, I will stop immediately and speak nicer than a nun.
But if you start acting like you’re on some fucking high horse, or telling me that I’m going to Hell for talking the way that I do and you can’t “be around that kind of language” then you can bet your motherfuckin’ ass that I’ll be...
Tumblr Code.
If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”
that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything
I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person
must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!
Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.
peregr1ne:
my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
morrissarty:
cheeky-jackharries:
avatar-rokuu:
veryscarytwist:
how am i supposed to concentrate in science when whENEVER I LOOK TO THE LEFT I SEE THIS
AT LEAST YOU DON”T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS
AT LEAST YOU DONT HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO THIS
what
jackie just woke up screaming and with a fucking attitude. Seriously, I hate you
burgrs:
how dare u ignore me after ive made 0 attempts at talking to u
